I Love You

I will forever cherish the moment you first said, “I love you.” Another routine summer morning, rushing to get into the car and drive away before giving in to quitting just to be with you. As I closed my door and rolled my window down for the millionth ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you laters’, you poked your little head out and told me you loved me. I suppose you may not quite know what that means, but I sure do hope you feel what it means. In English, I love you is said just about anything and for almost everyone. In Spanish, that type of love is likeness. To love, in Spanish- Amar, is to deeply and intensely have love for. I don’t just love you, I profoundly am in love with your being. Your very essence of life has forced my soul to churn and my heart to finally understand the meaning of love.

There is an old song I have always loved, and at one point, it felt like I had found someone who gave meaning to lyrics. But true love comes from the Almighty, and He makes no mistakes. The song is called Such Great Heights, and the part that says,

“I am thinking it's a sign

That the freckles in our eyes

Are mirror images

And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate

That God Himself did make

Us into corresponding shapes

Like puzzle pieces from the clay”

I thought of you years before I even knew I would become a mom. I thought of you every day while you waited. I think of you every moment I am with you and every moment you are away from me. I miss you terribly when we are apart, and though I wish things could be different right now, I stand beside the choice I made to leave a situation to offer you a better me (mommy).

I notice how you look at me when you catch me staring, and sometimes, I pull back so you do not think I am a weirdo, but I cannot help falling more in love with you with every breath you take. Be still my heart. I am so grateful I get to be your mommy.